My 2 year old Picasso - Bug colors the wall

Well, it's happened. Something I thought had the chance of occurring but I was hoping I might be able to avoid. Bug has now drawn and colored on the wall. It happened the other night in just a blink of an eye, but none the less it occurred, in all it's black ink pen and green crayon colored glory! (I swear, back turned 15 second, 20 tops!)
I've had a hard time deciding how I wanted to handle it. Of course, initially I rushed over to her, told her no, grabbed the crayon (pen was on the ground already) and proceeded to point to the wall where the offense had occurred and tell her no, she doesn't color on the wall. My initial internal reaction was to be harsher but I quickly realized it's not her fault. Before this moment she didn't know she shouldn't draw on the wall. She just knows Daddy praises her when she draws and colors on paper.  So naturally, why wouldn’t she want to do it on something bigger?  Fortunately since the other night there has been no repeats, and she has had chances, but has opted to come sit in Daddy's lap and help highlight his notes, or write down her own opinions.
My biggest debate on this is how do I react or handle it when it happens again? Yes I said when, not if. If she's anything like her Daddy it'll happen again. There is still a drawing I did when I was around 3 on the inside of one of my Granny's doors that she still talks about to this day. So what do I do? I want to be sure she knows she's doing wrong and I want to discourage the behavior, but not to the extent that I risk taking away any enjoyment she has in drawing or coloring (self admitted selfishness on my part here too). Its something as a parent I knew I'd eventually face, and had yet until now. And now that I'm faced with it, I'm at a bit of a loss as the course of action I want to take. I guess I have until next time to sit and stew on it, between now and then though, hopefully I can keep my mini Picasso to work solely in the paper medium, and avoid drywall.

Below:  The aforementioned artwork of yours truly at a much younger and more innocent age.



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A night away

Tonight is the first night I’ve spent away from home since Bug’s surgery, and well, its not be completely smooth for me. Ever since her surgery, she’s been a happier baby overall; livelier, more talkative and interactive. It was hard enough for me to leave her this evening the way she was playing and trying to keep my attention, and it broke my heart leaving, but just a bit ago, I couldn’t keep my heart from breaking.

Basically, Bug is refusing to go to sleep without my there. Every noise she hears, she looks at the door and starts saying my name like she expects me to come through the door. I tried talking to her on the phone, and the excitement her had in hearing my voice brought me to tears, because as happy as she was to hear me, and even though she wasn’t going to truly understand, I had to tell her that Daddy wouldn’t be there tonight. Tried telling her goodnight and she told me “No” in her precious fashion. I’d tell her that I love her, and she’d mumble something back, not quit “I love you” but it’s getting closer now that she has the tubes in her ears.

So basically in the upcoming years, I’m screwed when it comes to travel. I’ve managed to deal with her playing with me extra, or doing what she can to keep me at home and from leaving, even chasing me to the door. Once she starts getting out “I love you” or the first time she says “Daddy come home” I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay away. I’m man enough to admit that part of tonight brought me to tears, hearing her on the other side of the phone, knowing she was looking for me and waiting for me to come back, but travelling occasionally is part of it, parents everywhere do it every day. It’s just the difficulty involved, now that’s she’s starting to communicate, was not something I had prepared myself to deal with.

Drawing with Bug

One of my favorite things right now is watching Bug draw. Something about how serious and intense her look is as she concentrates on the page, I just love it!

@#%&*!

Aww....whats better then hearing your child first saying one of those magic four letter words they've heard you say? Not knowing that what they're doing is actually wrong, and saying it in the most embarrassing moment?  Fortunately that hasn't happened to me, and knock on wood it wont, but I've seen it happen to people before, and really, its one of those small hurdles to get over when your child's brain is like a sponge on crack, absorbing everything it can and spitting it right back out.
Actually, saying I've not had to deal with the cussing issue yet is something of a misleading statement.  I've had to deal with a wide array of circumstances when it comes to young children cussing. I have my nephew, while helping my father, his Pappy, run cattle, yell a colorful profanity filled statement, something he has heard my father yell, and was repeating it, simply thinking he was helping, not knowing it was wrong. It's one of those nice, innocent circumstance that people enjoy telling the story of and laughing about, while also enforcing on him, that he shouldn't say "those words".  Something you can make fun of in later years, nothing something you feel you should go hide your head over.
Then we have my son, who lives with his mother mostly 12 out of a 14 day span, with small hits and misses of an extra day for myself here and there. He's heard me cuss, he's heard me cuss under my breath about his mother, I won't sit and lie or act like he hasn't, but he's not around it a lot, or any familiar situations.  He's never once repeated me, never once caught me and told me I was saying bad words, to him, he's oblivious that they are anything but words, something I'm grateful of, unsure of its just him or the raising he has with his mother, but hoping it stays that way for a few more years.
Then, we have my step daughter, 8 going on 20, and a masters degree in all things.  She hears me cuss, admittedly, she hears me cuss more then she should, and is aware that select words are "bad words" either by being told by us or the school system. She is so knowledgeable that they're "bad" that she nearly had a breakdown over saying the word "piss" and being told she shouldn't say that, that it was a bad word.  Well, last night a curious event. She asked what the bad words were. Not metaphorically or in any other sense, but just that, asked what they were. So I told her, listed out the 4 lettered kings of cussing, emphasizing the mother of all words, and said hey, these are the worst, don't say them.  I mean how else are you going to learn, right?
I explained to her that they are not good to say and she shouldn't, that even my mom will still get on my case if I get into a good cussing rant, which has been known to happen on occasions, something my step daughter found comical, but also seems to hit home the fact that they're bad, regardless of age or circumstances.
So I mark it off as having 2 out of the 3 taken care of in the cussing department. No worries of a child embarrassing me by throwing an F-bomb in the middle of Walmart or anything like that. One of those small hurdles jumped and small victories celebrated.  Hell yeah!

A geek as a father….undermining the imagination?

With the weather finally starting to warm up, and thinking back to how the kids were last year, I’m beginning to wonder if I do more damage then good.  I’ll admit that I enjoy electronic toys, if I had more money I’d probably have more, heck I’m even considering getting an iPad, and its partially just for me to have, and another part, I think of how my kids could play with it and entertain them, and I seriously sit and question if that’s good or not.

I remember when I was a kid, when it warmed up, I’d go just walking around the woods, building forts, or just finding random things to do that would keep me busy until I was yelled for.  I remember always wanting to go play in the creek, building dams with rocks, or thinking and considering going back into the cave at Granny’s. (Something I have yet to do, but at 29 still considering it this summer).  I wonder if being as technology obsessed as I can be has rubbed off on them in a bad way.  I just don’t see the happiness or imagination in their eyes like I felt that I had.  It takes effort to get them to go outside and play, but even then, its standardized.  They aren’t using their imagination.  You ask them to play a certain way, or play like their doing something and they have a blank stair.  Their imagination is more like a trained muscle now, only knowing movements that its grown accustomed to.  If it doesn’t involve the Wii, or the Leapster, or something on TV, it just seems like they draw a blank.  The joys of imagining being a superhero turtle, or drawing your latest crazy space monster, or pretending that you’re building a fort to protect yourself from the invading army, all that has faded away it seems.  That don’t have that.

I mean sure, the argument could be made that its good that they have a chance to be associated with all this technology.  That it will benefit them down the road, as they get older and become more dependent on technology, but where do you draw the line to separate it being beneficial, and being harmful?  I see my little girl, playing with her Little People, and you can see, even at 10 months, her imagination is starting to fire up, while at 3 1/2, my son’s imagination is a spark, barely able to break past things he has already experienced or seen on TV, and at 8, Katlyn’s seems to be more that trained muscle, only having an imagination that is limited to things she’s already associated with, never being able to break outside the box.

As parents, you always want to give your children a happier childhood then you had, but having more isn’t always better.  I just feel that the numbing and the watering down of their imaginations is a harmful side effect of having a Dad that is a tech geek, and its something I feel is hurting them now rather then benefitting them.  I just hope I can find a way to rectify it, without causing more harm.