Sunday, February 14, 2010

Bug’s First Valentine’s Day

Well my Bug’s first Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and although it went off without too much happening, it was a good day.  With only being 9 months old, I didn’t see the option of getting Abby very much beyond just a big ole stuffed animal, which seemed to be the mistake.  I got Abby a big pink bear holding a heart that simply said “Love” with the year on one of its feet, while I got Katlyn a heart filled with Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, a stuffed gorilla and some other small things.  Well Abby just wasn’t happy with this, eyeing Katlyn’s chocolate and gorilla.  Eventually she did get a taste of her first peanut butter cup (Daddy is a huge softy, I can’t help it) but until that point, and at times after, she was just cranky, and I had fun playing it off as acting like a diva.  At 9 months, she’s already upset that she didn’t get flowers or jewelry for Valentine’s Day.  LOL


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Madelynn Kate

Today came the arrival of my first niece; Madelynn Kate.  Weighing 7lbs 10oz and 20 inches long, partially causing me to realize how small my Bug really was…

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Fortunately I managed to be at the hospital when she arrived.  There was something almost surreal being at the same place I was 9 months ago, being where my brother was; in the delivery room and nursery.

So to do my very best at eventually winning the favorite uncle award.(a guy can dream!) I’ve been working on her nursery.  After Abby’s nursery, I’m more comfortable working in Madelynn’s, in a way that almost makes me feel guilty.  If I was allowed I’d probably go back and work on Abby’s some more, but I know better!!  LOL

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Showing progress from first night to second.  Including tweaking of the castle and towers, adding an additional flag and starting on the surrounding stars.  Still not happy with the overall look though.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A tooth, a temp, and a Dr visit.

So, its been a wild couple of days.  We knew Abby was getting close to having her first tooth, and we had confirmation yesterday as it finally broke through.  As many babies and small kids I’ve been around, I’ve never been around one when they were cutting teeth and were in the miserable stage of it, and that includes Canaan.  Well I finally had a taste of it with Abby last night, and it broke her Daddy’s heart.  Just the painful whimpers and cries and me being powerless to do anything beyond Baby Orajel, I’ve already felt powerless like this regarding my Bug twice and it gets worse as time goes on.  Well I chose to stay up with her most of the night because she was waking up every few hours for a bit, and I wanted to make sure I kept Tylenol in her.  I knew she had a temperature, and I’ve always heard about the symptoms of a baby cutting teeth, so I never thought anything of it.  Well I learned today that her temp shouldn’t have gone much above 99, that it should have remained a low grade fever.  Sometimes this learning curve kills me….

Well today got worse.  Jaq kept her and said her temp kept staying up and she stayed cranky, so she called the doctor who requested her to bring her in.  The fear was that she was having a problem with her kidneys again, similar to when she got sick and dehydrated a couple of months back and was put in UK.  So they take urine, they take blood, same as before, and just like before, her kidneys come back ok, no bacteria in her urine, but her white blood count is up, showing an infection, they just are unsure of what is the cause.  Now note that UK never determined what caused Abby to get sick the last time too, which might I add has me a bit worried.

So, I’ve had a sick, weak baby girl, all she’s wanted to do is be held, but does her very best to give Daddy a smile every once in awhile.  We go back to the doctor in the morning.

And to top it all off, they said she had one of her top teeth coming through too.  So we have at least 2 teeth breaking through on top of an unknown infection, high temps, and the sounds of a 9 month old’s misery.


Friday, February 5, 2010


I’ve started to realize that I tend to write late at night when I can sleep, when my mind is racing or like tonight, my back is bothering me and I’m tired of rolling around trying to get comfortable.  Tonight is both though, at one point when I got comfortable with a pillow between my knees taking the pressure off my lower back I started thinking back on today and began to think, which lead to over thinking, which lead to worrying.  Here is the dilemma at hand; my son and I are basically strangers to one another.

I’m unfamiliar with what makes him tick beyond what he shows when he is here, and that is mostly consumed with playing with his sisters, his trucks and wanting to always have what he wants to watch on TV, and I’m not far from just a guy he calls “Daddy” and he sees every couple of weeks for a few days.  He doesn’t know what I do, he doesn’t know what its like to sit and watch a ball game with me, beyond UK he isn’t aware of who my favorite teams are. (Cincinnati Reds and Bengals for those keeping score at home)  Its honestly a bit disturbing when I sat down and started thinking of all this.  It causes me to feel like I’ve let him down, and let myself down.  That I’ve broken promises that I made to myself (another post for another time), which just leads to more questions, and more fears and doubts.  He went nearly 10 months of his life without truly knowing me as his father, and still yet rarely gets to know what it feels like to have me around.  Is that helpful or hurtful for him?  Does he know how much I love him and cherish him?  or will he find reasons to resent me when he gets older?  Just some of the thoughts and questions swimming in my mind when it comes to my son.  He is worth every second I get to have him, but it is becoming more and more of an internal struggle.  I only hope I always do right by him.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I’ll come out and admit it right now, I’m a huge Kentucky Wildcats fan!  Football and basketball, I’m either listening or watching every game.  So of course when I found out I had a son, the thoughts of ever sports fan ran through my mind; watching games together, playing games together, getting him pumped up, the whole father + son thing.  Well, as my luck goes, I don’t quite get that, only having him Thursday to Saturday every other weekend puts a damper on watching a lot of sports, and I realize in the upcoming years, being able to be involved in him playing summer sports will be limited.  Honestly, watching my brother get to have all the things with my nephew that I want to have with my son makes me a little jealous, but none of that is truly what gets to me.  What gets to me?  His mom is a Tennessee fan.  We are talking a Rocky Top singing, orange wearing, rubbing it in my face Tennessee fan, and believe me, I do my best to deprogram, but you can only do so much!!

Well, thank goodness, my daughter comes along, and is an immediate sports fan for whatever reason.  Sitting watching football games, and almost grunting and fussing along with the game.  So of course, I take off running with this, and even before she can talk, she knows who she cheers for!!  I finally broke down and jailbroke my iPhone 3G the night before, partially to give myself the ability to record video so I can share this.  This isn’t staged at all, it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, if you start saying the cheer “oooohhh……c! a! t! s! CATS! CATS! CATS!” she gets that huge beautiful smile on her face before you finish spelling cats.  By the time football season comes back around, I’ll have her cheering away!!